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DORKVILLE pop. 48,000 spuds
DORKVILLE CITY HALL
"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity then hydrogen, and THAT is the basic building block on the universe."- Frank Zappa
"Two things are infinite: The Universe and Stupidity- and I'm not sure about the Universe"-Albert Einstein
"What a waste of a good cornfield !" ~anonymous passing tourist
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Located in the most depressed part of southwestern Ontary-ary-O and boasts:
The Bigger Picture Is....*A CITY ADMINISTRATION THAT HAS RAISED NEPOTISM, "DOUBLE-DIPPING" & PATRONAGE TO AN ART FORM AND CAN ONLY SPEAK IN BUZZ-WORDS and/or CLICHES
*AIR THAT'S A TOXIC SOUP OF ETHANOL (MOONSHINE) FUMES, ROTTING JUNKFOOD WRAPPERS & CAR EXHAUST
*AN INFESTATION OF CONSULTANTS & "STRATEGIC THINKERS" WHO LEECH OFF THE TAXPAYERS, DRAINING THE PUBLIC COFFERS FOR THEIR ENDLESS "STUDIES", "REVIEWS" AND POINTLESS POWERPOINT PRESENTATIONS.
("...but we have no in-house expertise !" ~Dorkville City Clerk)This Site won an award !!!
*AN ALMOST COMPLETELY ABANDONED DOWNTOWN, EXCEPT FOR GIFT SHOPS RUN BY BORED WIVES OF TOWN OFFICIALS AS A HOBBY
the Capital of Stupid - DORKVILLE*A RETARDED OBSESSION WITH OLD CARS, YET SOME OF THE WORST DRIVERS ANYWHERE ON THE CONTINENT.
*A PLANNING DEPT. THAT IS DETERMINED TO REPLACE ALL FARMLAND WITH USED CAR LOTS & A TOTALLY INEFFECTIVE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT COMMISSION WHO BLAME THE UNEMPLOYED FOR THEIR OWN FAILURE TO ATTRACT NEW INDUSTRY
*A HEAD-IN-THE-SAND, OSTRICH-LIKE ATTITUDE the Capital of Stupid - DORKVILLE
TO "SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL............................. .......SMELL NO EVIL?"
*A POPULATION MAINLY CONSISTING OF EXTREME-RIGHTWING-CHRISTIAN- CHEAP-LABOUR-CONSERVATIVE-ALL-THINGS-AMERICAN-WORSHIPPIN'-NASCAR-TARD ............ REDNECKS
Dorkville Pubic Libary Rush Hour in Dorkville
Dorkville Tourist Bureau
Dorkville Police Blotter
Dorkvillians
The Tammys



"Stupidity has a knack of getting its way."~ALBERT EINSTEIN
"If all else fails, Immortatility can always be assured by spectactular error"FAILBOOK
JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH
YOU WON'T FIND DORKVILLE ON FACEBOOK...........
( they've already got too many of their own )
Creasote CKmonotonyDorkville Culcha
"Dense, unenlightened people are notoriously confident that they have the monopoly on truth."
Joshua Loth Liebman
"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it" GEORGE SANTAYANA
YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE - Dorkville industrial park


Threads for this page

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earlOswirl Why Culture is dying in DORKVILLE (page: 1 2) 29 Sep 24 2011, 1:36 PM EDT by earlOswirl
Thread started: Jan 17 2011, 11:58 AM EST  Watch
The latest press release from CREATE CK is a masterpiece of administrative double-speak, cliches and just plain BS !!!
Starting with a condescending "the so-called Creative Community" slam at artists (jealous of REAL talent ?) they admit they are "seeking more clarity on their role" (so....you have no idea what you're supposed to be doing, then ?) and express concern that the funding for their jobs might end (welcome to the REAL world, folks) and the hope that they can expand their office empire to include sub-committees ( the disease of office-itis; like a cancer, it grows to consume budgets)
Referring to themselves as "strategic thinkers", they boast of getting over $100.000 in government money to create a website that will CHARGE ARTISTS to be on. Instead of promoting art and culture, they act like a parasite, feeding off the money that is supposed to fund it.
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Ned_Pervish How to find stuff here 18 Aug 11 2011, 11:40 AM EDT by tete_merde
Thread started: Jun 16 2011, 11:30 PM EDT  Watch
Dorkville administration is pleased to announce we are awarding a consulting tender to a marketing firm in Nova Scotia for the placement of street signs. It is an unfounded, scurrilous rumour that no-one from the company has actually ever visited our municipality, or that the president of said company is a relative of our city clerk ! This consultation was necessary, as Works Dept head LEO DEBRIS has only been employed here for thirty years, not enough time for him to familiarize himself with landmarks or street names.
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Keyword tags: action plan canada American Idle AMERICAN IDOL Artspace BUSCH LITE BUSINESS FOR THE ARTS CANADA Deh CAPITOL THEATRE CAPITOL THEATRE ASSOCIATION Chatham Cultural Centre Chatham Daily News CHATHAM ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT Chatham This Week Chatham-Kent CHATHAM-KENT DAILY POST CK on the edge Ckontheedge@info.com community partnership fund conservative christian CONSERVATIVE PARTY Creasote CK create CK CreateCK CRETINS cultural action team Cultural Coalition of Chatham DANCING WITH THE STARS DEVELOPMENTALY CHALLENGED developmently challenged DownTown CHATHAM BIA DUMBASS Economic development explorenewt2012 extreme rightwing FESTIVAL OF MUTATIONS first friday cultural crawl GLEE HISTORIC DOWNTOWN CHATHAM Histronic Downtown Chatham IMBECILES Kent County Kiwanis Theatre Kleptomaniacs monotony MORONIC NASCAR RETARD FEST retrofest RM AUTO Rotary Ribfest SKANKS Spazzes Tea Bag Party TEAPARTY thames art gallery The Harper Government THE JERSEY SHORE THEATRE KENT TRAILER PARK BOYS UR CHATHAM KENT WILDROSE ALLIANCE
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EdLaw420 The REDEMPTION of Dorkville ??? 6 Aug 7 2011, 2:29 PM EDT by EdLaw420
Thread started: Jul 28 2011, 2:11 PM EDT  Watch
CBC's Kevin O'Leary (Dragon's Den, Lang&O'Leary) was spotted at King & Fifth with a camera crew recently by the eagle eye of Bobblehead Bobiinet (she looked out the window of her office, which overlooks the intersection - whatta newshound). He was shooting for his upcoming show "REDEMPTION, INC." which the CBC website describes as " taking a recently paroled criminal, and mentoring him as he starts a business"....................

No, honest, it's for real, and Downtown Dorkville is SUCH a fitting location.
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earlOswirl CK on the edge farts festival (page: 1 2) 22 Jun 19 2011, 10:30 AM EDT by Parry_Bugsley_esq
Thread started: Jul 31 2010, 12:10 AM EDT  Watch
I got GANKED by some D'orkville "promoters"!!

I applied to perform and was given the crappiest date and venue (wanted to charge too much for tickets, too), when I got the contract there was a clause demanding that I insure ($2,000.000 !) the venue for the month leading up to the show (and give them 20% of my CD sales just for setting up a table in the lobby - but no staff, just the table) and expected me to retype the contract to fix their error (and lied to me that I wasn't the only person they did this to "by accident" - I checked - no-one else got that version)
They asked me for my logo, and then didn't use it , I was THE ONLY ACT (of ten!!) not mentioned in ANY of the newspaper articles or posters, and then got snotty with with me when I pointed that out.( "if the press release is too long they won't print it".....even though the editor of the paper had an event in the festival ?? two words is too long ?)
After I walked away in disgust at their amateur arrogance, they even had the nerve to try laying a guilt trip on me that I "let THEM down" !!! (another great quote... "I think you'll agree that we lived up to our end of the bargain"?????)



......D'orkville is as D'orkville does
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